Spring Season 2015: Initial Impressions – Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Episode 1 Review (totally not fan-fiction!) – Peeling Back The Curtain

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_16.50_[2015.04.06_19.53.38]

Bell Cranel was new to the dungeon. New to the town in the fact. But that wasn’t going to stop him. He was going to leave his mark here; a face to be respected, a face to be desired by women. They would see his potential, his inner beauty. He was the nice guy™. However, first he would have to deal with these wretched Minotaurs.  Slowly Bell had begun to realise he might be over his head on this one…

Then She appeared!

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_01.41_[2015.04.06_19.47.25]

Class rep Aiz Wallenstein managed to successfully extract the transfer student away from the irate freshmen, but not before one of them managed to pour a carton of tomato juice over his head. That was no way to treat someone on their first week at school! At the same time, he hadn’t made it easy for himself. As best she could figure out, those kids were just talking about the ending to Naruto, when some random guy three years older than they were came over to tell them they should watch a real anime like Sword Art Online, before trying to display his Japanese language skills with a bunch of random words.

She tried to ask if he was ok, but got nothing but incoherent mumbling about a dungeon before the pupil ran away. Aiz sighed. He wasn’t even in her class. It was too early in the morning for this.

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.41_[2015.04.06_19.48.03]

His muse had appeared! His inspiration! His femme fatale! After briefly finding a secluded spot to privately shower his praises on her, Bell decided to report back to his Guild advisor. She would have useful information. She was quite the looker too and clearly into him, but he had already found his pure maiden and was far much too much of a gentleman to make the moves on the poor love-struck fool. Once he had the info he needed Bell put on his hunting fedora & quickly returned home. His goddess was waiting…

School Councillor Eina Chūru watched Bell leave her office. He wasn’t probably a bad kid deep down, but definitely needed to be coaxed back into the world of reality. She tried to explain that Ms Wallenstein was a top-grade student on her way to an elite university, and that the best way he could impress her was by stopping all the deluded self-aggrandizing & apply himself to his studies instead. Sadly, Eina didn’t think he listened to a word that she had said, instead opting to ogle her breasts when he thought she wasn’t looking, while muttering something about ranking up his skill-set.

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_11.11_[2015.04.06_12.52.21]

After extoling his goddess with tales of adventures and newfound love, Bell felt content. All the pieces were in place for him to succeed. The way his goddess repeatedly nuzzled up to him was still rather odd after all these months, but he’d concluded she was simply a very affectionate woman. It was her way of telling him she cared. That he was special.

Watching Bell retire to his room, Hestia Cranel held in a sob. What was she doing? She’d been his stepmother for 19 months now, but with her husband constantly away on business trips she felt like a caged animal. Drunkenly attempting to flirt with Bell in a feeble attempt to feel wanted was desperate and pitiful, but she was just so lonely, especially after relocating to this new town. It was ultimately harmless fun, but now she just wanted to be held by someone… anyone! Not that Bell even realised, despite the constant skimpy outfits, designed to reveal as much of her curves as possible. Why wouldn’t he notice her? He would often talk about the girls in his class as potential love interests. Was she too old? People said she still had a baby-face. After briefly wondering whether the way she constantly latched on to her stepson might actually be causing Bell to develop unhealthy attitudes towards women, Hestia sat down to another night of tv, pizza and red wine in their crumbling apartment.

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_12.42_[2015.04.06_19.48.34]

The very next day Bell was minding his own business when a local tavern wench approached with beaming smiles. She’d clearly understood his potential for greatness, and was struck with love at first sight. Unfortunately she couldn’t really leave with him, being still the clock, so naturally chose the only logical option by inviting him to her workplace. It was like introducing him to her family. Oh, how Bell missed his family…

Hooters waitress Syr Flover sighed once the young man was distracted. This was not how she’d expected to spend her college years, forcing a smile and flirting with men that ogled her like a piece of meat. Syr didn’t know which part made her feel dirtier. Sure, she had some attractive physical qualities, but wanted to be noticed for her academic gifts for a change. Things would change in time. She’d get her Practicing Certificate and go from a bar to a Barrister. She’d show everyone in this dirty old town…

Bell was minding his own business, admiring the local sights when his breath caught. It was Her, gracefully walking through the door surrounded by a group of brigands. How could this be? Wasn’t She his? His own? His only? After watching them settle down on a bench, he quietly glowered. And then the local Football Capt Warrior Class Mercenary started talking, laughing at Bell’s shameful dungeon exploits the day before…

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_17.59_[2015.04.06_19.46.55]

Declan Chambers, known as ‘Loki’ for his tendency for trickery on the football pitch, was regaling the table about the new kid who nearly got his ass handed to him by a bunch of 12 year olds. It was pathetic, going around acting all superior towards newer anime fans because he’d seen a few more shows. Dec had been watching the stuff since he was 8 years, but never showed off his knowledge of Pani Poni Dash to his friends. The age of trying to develop a sense of superiority for your geek credentials was just as misguided as the few members of his team who thought playing football made them local gods. The world was changing, he mused. Acting all high and mighty and believing you held the key to secret information in an age of digital information was just the delusions of an immature mind. As Declan smugly settled back in his chair, assured that he had all the answers, the front door slam shut.

Red-faced and teary-eyed, Bell ran from the tavern. They didn’t understand! None of them! He was destined for greatness! Those muscle-brained jocks barbarians were too dumb to understand his cool persona; those whores too busy sleeping around to see what a great guy he was. One day soon all the girls would want him, and all the boys would want to be him. He wasn’t wrong, they were! Doing his best to remove any trace of their lies from his head, Bell headed back to his home. There he’d find people who validated his opinions, people who would remind him he was far greater than any of the human garbage in this town.

Bell headed home, browsed some internet forums and watched Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?


[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_18.59_[2015.04.06_04.25.06]

I mustn’t run away!


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